Written by mickie winkler
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Topics: Diet, Weight Loss

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

image for Comcast subscribers experience weight loss, scientific study reveals
Comcast Subscriber

Subscribers to Comcast are likely to lose weight, the National Institute of Weight Loss found. The finding holds true for obese and non obese adults.

The NIWL is recommending that doctors instruct their overweight patients to sign up with Comcast. In addition to weight loss they will receive:

• Telephone service (which, unlike land lines, is useless if power goes out).
• Spotty programming, also subject to frequent interruption.
• Terrible streaming for which subscribers are charged.
• Unreliable WiFi.

All of which comes at a stunningly high cost that is burdened with frustrating new and arbitrary charges each and every month.

Doctors speculate that under Comcast-induced stress, customers will neither crave nor retain food.

Comcast is promoting physician efforts by -selectively-- touting weight loss as a benefit, and claiming that Comcast fees can be tax deducted as a medical expense.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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