Science Town, NMScientists looking for the source of water on Mars found, in one of those crazy Science coincidences, the source of all evil on Earth instead.
The head scientist, in an exclusive interview said, "We were aiming our receptors up to the Great Red Planet and Roy, the Office Boy, was supposed to reset the co-ordinates so that we could get a fresh start for the day's discoveries. Well, Roy, he's a little dim sometimes and he screws things up a lot, and anyways, he accidentally put it on the "evil detection" setting.
We didn't realize the setting at first and lo and behold, the device sent out a red laser, connected right to Hillary's laptop.
The Congress could not make up its minds to condemn or worship.