Written by lukejay
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Sex, Robots, sex toys

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

image for Sexbots Replace Human Sex Workers
Hey baby, don't clog my input port

A campaign has been launched by the 'Alliance of Human Escorts and Sex Workers' for a ban on robots designed for sexual pleasure.

'Non-humans have made the hard work of flesh and blood sex workers look far too easy', said Union spokesman Tommy Tallywhacker.

A recent survey revealed that large number of men and women are having intercourse with robots, in favour of other humans.

The robots designers claim that each automaton is designed to 'fulfil the every fantasy of its customers' and that 'you won't find a human with as much endurance.'

Tommy Tallywhacker, a porn star who has worked with both humans and machines, wants to ensure that customers are aware of the advantages of human sex workers.

'Sex robots are flooding our city's streets that undermine a red-blooded homo sapiens need for intimacy and love. They deny customers terrific, tongue-twisting blowjobs,' he said.

'We think that sexbots redefine the sexual experience, and are detrimental to the sexual development of those who use them. It pains me that there are fellow sex lover are masturbating to scrap metal. Wireless accessories are an unacceptable substitute for handheld, human operated orgasm inducers.'

HankyPankyBots Ltd are the largest supplier of sexbots in the country, offering a wide range of machines from the Oral Automaton to the hard-core ShagBot.

The company's CEO John Thomas praised the work of sexbots, stating: 'Our customers love our robots, and the pleasure they provide them with. I challenge any human sex worker to make a client climax as quickly as the Knobobot.'

Customers can also purchase a number of popular wireless, self-lubricating sex toys from HankyPankyBots, such as: the 'Sensual Stiffy', the 'Amazing Muff Diver', the 'Spine-tingling Trouser Snake', the ' Vibrating Vajayjay', the 'Ultra Penetrating Pork Sword', the 'Bootiful Bumbanger', and the 'Yoo-Hoo Yoghurt Slinger.'

The Sex Worker Ombudsman Service has yet to fully address the Union's full complaint.

Make lukejay's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 2?

3 2 15 4
76 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more