The Spoof can reveal tonight that yer man with the funny voice that's meant to be so bloody clever is losing it big style.
Professor Steven Hawking has come out with a real corker and suggested that for mankind to avoid its own certain self-destruction we need to colonise some other planets! And get this, we need to do it by using some kind of Star Trek warp drive type thingy.
Well The Spoof says:
"Get a reality check Steve mate. If you're so clever then how comes you don't know that Star Trek isn't real? It's all just made up and there isn't any such thing as a warp drive you plonker! You'll be telling us next that there really is a Mr Spock and a Captain James T Kirk"
Our Science correspondent Jimmy Einstein suggests that probably the only option would be for mankind all to pile in somewhere like the Orkneys, as at least the air quality is better there and there's not as much pollution and that.
Steven Hawking is in our opinion away with the fairies and needs to think things out a bit more before coming out with such a lot of total bollocks.
Be sure to get tomorow's special scientific supplement when we show you how to make a time machine with an old shoe box and a used tin of baked beans