Written by Paul Blake
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 27 April 2015

image for Iowa Man With Facial Blindness Deemed America's Most Romantic!
Ladies All Want a Man With Facial Blindness!

Des Moines, Iowa - Old Harold Grandy, 76, wasn't know for much in this sleepy little hamlet in western Iowa, but now he can hold his chin up high, as he has been crowned: The Most Romantic Man in America! And for a man who has struggled through the dark and lonely world of facial blindness, (or prosopagnosia.) For his entire life, Harold Grandy couldn't remember people's faces, even if he'd met them only five minutes ago, which has brought him great shame. Now, he can finally look people right in the eye. (Although it still won't do him one bit of good.)

Yes, it seems like every woman swoons when they hear the tale of old Harold Grandy, who has brought his wife home flowers and chocolates every night, like clock work, for over thirty-five years. "Yeah, I never thought that my face-blindness would do me any good, but when it comes to Betty Sue, I guess it's good that I don't remember what the hell she looks like!"

And Betty Sue didn't seem to mind one little bit either. "Oh, it's ok. I know he thinks I'm a different woman every night, but look at me... I think it's working out in everybody's favor." she said, doubling down on two salted caramels.

We asked others around town too, what they made of Harold's condition.. "Oh, eventually he'll remember," guessed Cindy Assmouth, of Assmouth's Flowers the local florist who's been selling Harold flowers every day for the last 35 years. "But personally, I just think he's makin' the whole damn thing up in his head! Don't matter to me, none - he's the reason I'm still in business!"

And for the poor victims who suffer through this debilitating disease, like Harold, it's quite normal for others to mistrust the otherwise invisible symptoms. Yet Doctors, who have spent decades studying this rare disease, still have not been able to come up with a valid medical diagnosis for why most men with facial prosopagnosia, seem to have butt-ugly wives!

Make Paul Blake's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 4?

8 20 12 10
85 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more