Written by Matt Birkenhauer
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Thursday, 2 April 2015

image for It Is What It Is, Isn't It?

Much like the mysterious dark matter that astrophysicists have been hypothesizing about since the 1930s, metaphysicians this week announced that "It is what it is--isn't."

Explained Dr. Cecile Plotinus, who teaches a course in the Pre-Socratic philosophers at the University of Minnesota, "For centuries we metaphysicians believed that it is what it is, was. But only recently, partly arising out of research done on dark matter over the last two decades, we've come to the conclusion that it is what it is, all this time, wasn't."

Other philosophers, like the late Richard Prior from Princeton University, strongly disagree. Said Professor Prior, only weeks before his passing, "Obviously, what is what it is, is, and always has been. We've known this at least since the time of Parmenides!"

But it looks like Prof. Plotinus, and those who follow what is now being called "Isn'tism," will have the last word on this matter, at least for the time being.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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