Written by StubbornGorilla
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Topics: God, Dinosaurs, hoax

Wednesday, 1 April 2015

image for God admits that dinosaur bones are just a "geological hoax" He pulled on humanity
"I'm really just God's version of paper mache."

In a stunning announcement, God, the creator of all things, admitted that dinosaur bones are really just "gag props" that he created in the soil for us to find.

"Sorry if I just spoiled your childhood" God said with a chuckle.

Asked why he would perpetrate such a ruse on His favorite creations, God explained, "I made them up to help spark humanity's imagination. I'm really impressed with how far you've all run with it."

Pressed about the possible consequences of this level of deceit, God replied, "Just think of them as My version of Santa Clause, and you have to admit that giant dragon looking things are way cooler than some fat elf in a red snow suit."

Questioned as to what intended benefit there could be from making people believe that dinosaurs actually existed, God said, "I wanted to create something that could make even the most stodgy of man feel like a little kid when they thought about it. Just think about it in revenue terms alone. What else have I created that would keep people coming to museums year in year out? I mean, statues of winged musclebound eunuchs appeal to a pretty limited demographic, but who doesn't want to see giant monster bones?"

Some angels in attendance seemed offended by the remark, but none enough so to join their brother Lucifer in protest.

Questioned about how some creationist museums portray dinosaurs and man living together, God replied, "Like I said, you guys have some imagination!"

Pressed as to why he didn't just make real dinosaurs God replied, "Have you ever seen Jurassic Park?"

Touching on the subject, He also pointed out how many cool movies wouldn't have been made without the existence of dinosaur bones to spark peoples' imaginations.

"Would you want to live in a world without Godzilla?" He asked, defending his decision.

God went on to apologize for Jurassic Park 2 & 3 and Carnosaur, but stated that they were worth putting up with compared to all the awesome dinosaur stuff that exists.

Asked if He had pulled any other "fast ones" on the human race, God laughed, "Let me tell you about evolution..."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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