Written by Harry Klondike
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Sunday, 29 March 2015

image for Dolphins Capable of Having "Frenemies" study finds
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Jim Vogal, a marine biologist with who specializes in the study of aquatic mammals has published a shocking discovery. Dolphins, long known for their intelligence and libertine tendencies toward sexual matters are even more complex than once believed.

"Dolphins are capable of having "frenemies"- in that their relationships within pods can be rife with morally duplicitous behavior. The bottle nose dolphins tend to have the highest incidences of Machiavellian traits.

"People need to be aware that what you see on TV isn't necessarily whats going on in the murky depth of the ocean. I'd even go so far as to say that they have duped humanity. Think about the gravity of that concept! A creature living in the ocean duped us into making the whole "Flipper" myth.

"I'm normally quite an advocate for the welfare of all marine life, but these grey smooth creatures have a heart as black as the bottom of the Marianas Trench!"

When asked for advice on how to handle encounters with dolphins, he simply stated- "Don't! Swim away from them! And for the sake of all that's holy don't pay to see them in parks!!! That's exactly what they want! They really are that cunning!!!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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