Written by Patrick Parkinson
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Saturday, 28 March 2015

image for Facebook creates new app that tells you when someone is masturbating over your profile picture

Social media giant Facebook announced today that a new app will be on their website that informs users when someone is masturbating over their profile picture.

Facebook creator Zuckerberg revealed in a demonstration yesterday in Los Angeles, how an alert will appear on the user page informing them of who is whacking one out over the photos.

Also available is an option to see the masturbator through their own webcam on their phone so you can actually watch them finish themselves off to your picture. The option allows users to feel like they are having sex with the masturbator if they choose to do so using groundbreaking teledildonic technologies, expected to be released to the general public in time for Christmas.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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