Written by lukejay
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Tuesday, 3 March 2015

The entire contents of the Svalbard 'Doomsday' vault are set to be sold at an auction for millions of eager bidders.

Svalbard is widely known to be the largest storage vault in the world, containing more than 800000 worldly treasures. It was first opened in 2008 in preparation for the 2012 Apocalypse, which never happened.

The vault is rumoured to contain: thousands of gold bars and diamonds, alien weapons, Excalibur, an interdimensional transporter, and the Holy Grail.

In 2013 the majority of the vault's contents were returned to their original owners, with only the most valuable items remaining locked away just in case the end of the world was delayed for 'reasons beyond our comprehension.'

'Doomsday' specialists now claim that the March total eclipse signals Armageddon, and that there is no longer 'any reason to preserve treasures if there is no one to look at them.'

The proposed auction will take place inside the vault on the 7th March, a mere 13 days before the much anticipated and speculated second end of the world in three years.

Mr Joseph King, who will attend the auction said: 'I'm not expecting much but a small collection of gold bars and diamonds to enjoy before the end would be a delight.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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