Written by Gail Farrelly
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Thursday, 22 January 2015

image for Cellphones Announce Selfie-free Sundays
Note to self: Sundays are selfie-free!

Cellphones are disgusted with the amount (too many!) and general quality (awful!) of selfies, and they want everyone to know about it.

So yesterday in NYC's Times Square they held a press conference to tell the world that they had come to an important decision. Cellphones will no longer be providing Selfie Service on Sundays.

"It's only fair," said a pompous iPhone who claimed to be the group's leader. He continued, "After all, Sunday IS a day of rest. Or at least it SHOULD be." A delicate-looking, little pink cellphone in the first row spoke up. "Sunday is The Lord's Day, not a day of competitions for the number and size of bodies and body parts captured on a screen. So there!"

Numerous other cellphones voiced their approval, ad did, amazingly, many of the cellphone owners in the crowd. Most of the latter were, of course, taking photos of the proceedings.

As the group broke up, music filled the air. The voice of Petula Clark singing a 1960's tune: "Never on a Sunday," written by Manos Hadjidakis.

The crowd (cellphones AND humans) joined in at this point in the song:

But never never on a Sunday
A Sunday, a Sunday 'cause that's my day of rest

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Yes! The Sunday ban on selfies seems to be a done deal.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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