A chilling report is published today that warns that if there was to be a spell of abnormally cold weather, then it could well herald disaster for Britons at this festive time.
The report, funded by some crowd or other, says that if there was to be an unprecedented heavy fall of snow, say about six to eight feet or so, then U.K. could well grind to a halt.
A weather expert said:
"Well of course it may well be that public transport could be brought to its knees. The roads would be impassable. I could envisage that air travel would be reduced to a trickle and you could certainly forget the trains. They'd be proper well shagged squire"
Major-General Wright-Payne, Chief of the Army hyped things up even further when he told The Spoof:
"It might be, for example, that if there were to be a shortage of food, then the Army could be drafted in to deal with potential rioting as normally law-abiding citizens fought each other to the death, in a dog eat dog struggle to ensure survival for themselves and their families"
Of course there are some 'cranks' out there who think that this scenario is purely hypothetical but leading supermarkets are taking the dire warning seriously.
"We think that people should go out and buy up everything that isn't nailed down" suggested a spokesman for Tesco.
Anyhow; you have been warned so don't come running to us if you're caught out.