Written by Gail Farrelly
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Saturday, 15 November 2014

image for Elite Squad of Twitter Birdies Handles the Queen's Tweets
God save the Queen...and the Twitter birdies who serve her.

Shortly after it was announced that the Queen had sent her first tweet it's been revealed that only "special" Twitter birds are entrusted with the royal tweets. Not just any old birdie will do.

In addition to possessing a royal pedigree (commoners need not apply), these birds have to wear special travel garb. Female birdies must wear fashionable hats and carry purses. Male birds wear traditional top hats (mini ones of course) and carry walking (um, make that FLYING) sticks.

Also, the birds must have good singing voices, as they are required to sing a stanza of "God Save the Queen" as they reach their delivery destination.

Needless to say, the birdies cannot poop anywhere near the Queen. Following the perpetual advice provided by nuns the world over, the birdies are told to "take care of their needs" before leaving home.

Not all Twitter birds are eager to join the royal squad and serve the Queen. "Let her eat cake," chirped a cheeky birdie.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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