Written by queen mudder
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Cannabis, Siberia, mummy

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

image for MRI scans reveal 2,500 year old Siberian princess died of acute cannabis deficiency
Buried in a large canopic jar full of cannabis

Siberia, Russia - An ancient Siberian mummy has tested positive for a cute cannabis deficiency.

MRI scans reveal it 'dislocated her joints' and blew her skull wide open high up in the Altai Mountains circa BC500.

The remains were discovered preserved in a sohpisticated Northern Siberian permafrost grave close to a geologically significant area scheduled for GazProm fracking.

Scientists examining the tomb say she was buried with a large canopic jar full of high grade cannabis indicating a probable medicinal marijuana handout - maybe the first of its kind ever recorded.

They speculate the royal-born woman may have had a congenital condition typical of early Siberians who suffered cannabis deprivation symptoms on account of horrible freezing weather and lack of proper hydroponic equipment.

A number of tattoos showing elaborately carved jewel-encrusted bongs adorn her body which tests show Was probably embalmed in distilled sphagnum moss liquor.

A partially preserved sabre-toothed mammoth was also stoned to death, scientists said.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 1?

8 15 23 4
52 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more