Science Town, OZ Many people who state they wish they could return to yesterday or yesteryear were severely disappointed today when the results of the latest scientific studies were announced.
"After much research, we have arrived at the conclusion that the phenomenon known as yesterday ceases to exist the moment that it becomes today. Furthermore, once today has transpired, there is scientifically no way to return to yesterday. I predict that further study will only confirm this," spoke the head scientist Alan "Time Traveler" Naldrett.
"The only exception to this is of course members of the Tea Party USA."
In response, Paul McCartney announced that he will no longer perform the song "Yesterday" in concert or even sing it in the shower.