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Tuesday, 10 June 2014

image for Man convinces panel that he is a computer
Amazingly, we share 72% of our DNA with robots

It is an astonishing milestone in computing. For the first time, a human being has passed the Tuping test, in which one must persuade a panel of judges that he is in fact a robot. The victorious man, Colin Cement, 46, of Dorking, is by day a street performer who dresses as a robot - perhaps the perfect training for passing the test.

When asked how he achieved the amazing feat, Mr Cement was modest. "I just stood very still and made a beeping noise."

Alan Tuping was one of the pioneers of computing during the 1940s and 50s. He invented the off switch - up to that point computers would often overheat and catch fire. But Tuping also theorised about the future of computing. He envisaged a day when computers would be as intelligent as human beings, and came up with a test that could prove that the day had come.

In his famous book "The Tuping Test", he writes, "If a human being can convince a panel of experts that he is, in fact, a computer, then we can say that computers have reached an significant level of intelligence."

Since then, many have tried and failed the Tuping Test. Professor Stephen Hawking came close to claiming the prize a couple of years ago, but gave himself away by farting.

Computer expert Geoff Processor was pleased with the news. "It's very exciting for the future of computers. Soon we can look forward to the day when we are surrounded by humans standing still and beeping just like Mr Cement did today."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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