Anchorage - Sardines entering coastal waters off Alaska have once again left a milky substance for miles of Alaskan coastline, causing conservatives to complain about the open display of unwanton sex!
"It's just disgusting!" said Sarah Palin, "All that white stuff is just...just..."
"Coming from the male sardines," said Archie Dispon, chief oceanographer for the Alaskan Dept. of Natural Resources, "If people want this to stop happening, they're basically suggesting we stop an entire chain of food for billions of sea creatures. Of course the other option would be to breed Gay sardines and that of course would eventually cause the same disaster."
"Disastrous!" said Palin, when told of the gay option, "We can't encourage immorality, even in fish, we just can't win, we'll have to kill them all."
When reminded that killing was also a moral issue Palin said, "Oh long as Katie Couric can't come ask me questions, I'll be glad to shoot my rifle at about anything. I guess some issues I'm more flexible on, but not on cum. I put my foot down in it!"