Written by Keith Shirey
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 5 May 2014

image for Many in U.S. Believe Mental Illness Caused By Demons
POSSESSED BY DEMONS

Science's goal is to create reasonable explanations (theories) to describe reality - theories that rely, not on feelings or passions, but on evidence. Yet substantial portions of the American people reject scientific conclusions. In the fields of psychiatry and psychology even diagnostic and treatment methods based on biological causes are rejected by large numbers in the U.S.

Of interest is the Board of Supervisors of Paulding County, Ga. Today who voted down an attempt by 2 members to further fund a mental health facility in the county's largest city, Sandy Springs. The vote was 8 to 2.

Although all members of the board agreed that there are many "crazy people" in the County, the cause was largely believed to be demonic possession.

"My cousin Earl often beat up his Wife Maude and finally killed her," said Supervisor Fred "Red" Quick. But he was always hearing these voices. That's because he was a great sinner and highly susceptible to demonic influence."

"When he was sober he was always reading these psychology books to find out what was the matter with him. But he was under demon influence. See, of many Demonic spirits, one spirit is an Intellectual spirit. This spirit encourages you to research and attempt to find scientific explanations to problems and issues but God simply asks us to trust in Him & believe. The Holy Spirit gives us that ability," said Red.

He concluded that mental health issues were a religious matter demanding exorcism. 7 Supervisors nodded or spoke in agreement; many gave examples of family members needing intervention of Pastors.

One Supervisor had a different take: Ethel "Baby " Ruth said that she didn't know if demons caused mental illness but that will power can cure mental disorders by the avoidance of morbid thoughts. "Mental health centers in our county aren't needed," she said.

Of interest is that Over one half (63 percent, to be exact) of young Americans 18-29 years old now believe in the notion that invisible, non-corporeal entities called "demons" can take partial or total control of human beings, revealed an October 2013 Public Policy Polling survey that also showed this belief isn't declining among the American population generally; it's growing.

In the meantime, our schools are producing a generation of science illiterates. The US is 29th among developed nations on a list that ranks the science literacy of 15-year olds.

Make Keith Shirey's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 5?

5 21 20 18
60 readers are online right now!

Go to top