Written by CaptainSausage
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Topics: Internet, password

Friday, 11 April 2014

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Many seafaring nerds have lost their lives trying to convoy your passwords

Following recent attacks on internet security by pirates, owner of the internet Jedward Internet has advised that everybody changes all of their passwords to "password".

An internet ship was sailing across the Pacific Ocean last week carrying a valuable cargo of data and passwords when it was seized. Many passwords were thrown overboard and have been lost forever in the depths. However, it is clear that pirates are now in possession of a significant number of them, and the public are advised to change their passwords as soon as possible.

One reason behind the lapse in security was due to the elaborate procedure for checking passwords. Whenever you login to a website, the login details are shipped by boat to the Password Organizing Office (POO) in Perth, Australia, and checked against a list of known passwords for all internet users.

The system is vulnerable because anyone can attempt a bogus password check. Pirates will do this, then intercept the password ship as it approaches the POO and steal everything on board. Often they can gain extra booty of other sensitive data about the website concerned.

Jedward Internet has said that everyone should adopt the official MyPIP policy (My Password Is Password). If that was enforced then password checks could be carried out locally without the need to send any data to Australia.

Technology companies were sceptical. Computer expert Iva Computer said the MyPIP system would only work for people who could afford to sit around all day at home to physically defend their internet, like Oscar Pistorius claimed in court he was doing when he accidentally but deliberately shot his wife last year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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