Written by Catchthisdrift
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Monday, 7 April 2014

image for Pears Downgraded from Fruit to Dwarf-fruit
A classic pear-shaped pear

In a move that has stunned and outraged pear aficionados around the world, pears have been downgraded from a fruit to a dwarf fruit. The move comes after the latest annual conference of the International Fruit Tree Association, or IFTA. The conference was held in Gaborone, Botswana.

In a statement released at the end of the conference, the IFTA summarized its decision by saying that pears have always been considered inferior to apples, oranges, peaches, bananas and grapes. One need look only to what children tend to avoid in fruit cocktail. Pears are always the ones left in the bowl.

Pear experts, both those who love pears and those who don't particularly care for them, point to the fact that pears fit the most fundamental definition of what constitutes a fruit - the ripened ovary or ovaries of a seed-bearing plant, together with accessory parts, containing the seeds and occurring in a wide variety of forms.

An IFTA spokesperson countered the experts' assertion by saying "we don't care, we had fruit cocktail at lunch all week and we all agreed we don't like the pears."

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