Written by Adam Click
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Topics: Global Warming

Monday, 13 February 2017

image for Earth to Become One Giant Candyland
Happy farmers may one day proclaim, "We're raising cane!"

If certain climatologists are to be believed the earth may one day become one giant Candy Land. The study based on actual climate models dispenses with the myth that oceans will rise and croplands become deserts, focusing instead on what happens to organic materials when combined and slowly heated.

According to a new study, just published in My Weekly Reader, the worlds leading publication for myth and fiction, all the ingredients necessary to turn organic materials into fluffy cotton candy clouds and marshmallow mountains are already present in the environment and just waiting for the right series of events to turn them into confectionery treats.

If these scientists are correct the conditions required are not too far off from becoming fact. In fact we are on a collision course with just such a dietitian's nightmare.

"People in the near future may face the consequences of what is happening now if we do not change course soon.", warns Dr San Guine, a noted earth scientist, in his episodic series "Pathos", A graphically stunning but scientifically weak show now airing on the Hysterics Network. "Imagine having to wear hip-waders and having to walk through lakes of corn syrup just to go to the store. We may have already chosen the method for our own destruction...the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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