Kate Moss was singled out as the main cause of global warming at a meeting yesterday. World leaders united to blame the 32-year-old coke-snorting model for recent changes in environmental weather patterns, which they say could have been avoided if Moss had not set such a bad example with her drug habits and lesbian romps.
In recent weeks Moss has been accused as being the main reason behind Columbia's drug problem by politicians in the country, who are probably up for re-election, despite the fact Columbia's drug problem began in the late 1970s when government law agencies failed to act before the problem got out of hand.
And on Monday this week police adviser Lee Jasper said she was responsible for gun crime in the Brixton area of London because her love of the expensive indirectly fuels violent drug gangs or something like that.
Moss said: "I think it's going a bit far blaming me for global warming although I probably could do more to help the environment. But thinking about anything for too long gets me a bit confused you see so I have to go do a few lines and that now."
She added: "You haven't seen Pete in the last half hour have you, only his phone's off and he's stolen my car again. Also, where am I?"
It is not clear yet whether anyone has accused Moss of being responsible for the Hindenburg disaster although the English FA have hinted they are considering making her the scapegoat when the national team fails to qualify for the Euro 2008 finals in Austria and Switzerland.