Written by Keith Shirey

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Tuesday, 18 March 2014

The new Fox Cosmos series, hosted by the now-familiar-to-TV-watchers Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson, has upset anti-science conservative Christians. Besides being enraged by Tyson's statement that "the theory of evolution, like the theory of gravity, is a scientific fact," Dr, Tyson's presentation of the "Big Bang" theory of creation brought howls of protest.

"The idea that there was an explosion of matter, coming from something the size of a testicle, that was the source of all existence, is absurd," stated LeRoy J. Blow, Minister of The Church Of The Holy Ghost in Cracked Toilet GA.

"That everything started as the result of a Big Bang is obviously the invention of Dr. Tyson's perverted, sex-obsessed mind," said Rev. Blow

"But it just gets worse. Neil deGrasse Tyson says on Cosmos that the background radiation after the explosion is to be called the 'afterglow.' He's obviously speaking of the period of relaxation and happiness after sexual intercourse," said Blow.

Blow went on to complain that Tyson's "depraved sex rantings" would soon find their way into "anti-Christian physics and astronomy textbooks."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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