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Monday, 17 March 2014

image for Spectacular cosmic discovery hailed
Space - surprisingly empty

One of Britain's leading astronomers has made a discovery in space which could revolutionise science. Brian May, also known as Brian May from Queen, has a degree in astrophysics, and has been searching the skies for decades using a telescope he built himself from an old fireplace. Now he may have accidentally discovered space itself.

May explained his discovery. "It's cosmic! For years we've known that space is called space because it's mostly empty. But most people have never seen space. Usually when astronomers focus their telescope on the sky they're looking for a star or a comet or something. Yesterday I pointed my telescope at nothing and I couldn't believe what I saw - absolutely nothing! I was literally looking at empty space. I was so excited I did a guitar solo right there on the floor."

May was helped in his discovery by fellow Brian, Brian Cox. The two of them are often seen together on The Sky At Night, Britain's premier TV show for people called Brian.

Cox was equally enthusiastic about the discovery, and said that between them they would be coming up with a theory to explain the nature of empty space. It would be called the Cox-May Empty Volumes Postulate.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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