Written by Tanuj
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Topics: Computers, Stupid

Friday, 28 February 2014

New Delhi: Yesterday evening Baljit Singh Dhillon, an employee at a chicken factory in the city, was admitted in No Cure Hospital and received one and a half stiches on his right hand.

Your fearless reporter was sent to the hospital to take a stock of the situation.

"I studied in a Hindi-medium school and consequently my written English is not very good," said Baljit Singh Dhillon, clearly in pain.

"I made quite a few spelling and grammatical mistakes while typing the termination letter of an employee in the office. MS Word was kind enough to highlight them to me but at the time I thought that it is automatically underlining the important portions in the letter. I even uttered a silent 'thank you' to Bill Gates for the same."

"It was only later when my supervisor pointed out the errors with a red pen that I understood what MS Word was trying to tell me. In order to correct the mistakes I applied whitener to different parts of the computer screen and waited for it to dry before I made the changes. However even after fifteen minutes nothing appeared on the whitener when I moved the cursor under it and typed.

"I was in a weird situation in which the sheet of paper in front of me was covered with red marks and the screen in front of me was covered with white marks. Besides I was under a time constraint as my boss wanted to fire that employee before the end of the day in order to save the company one day of his salary which we would have to pay if we fired him the next day. Nervous and frustrated I smashed my hand into the monitor.

"I just got a SMS from my colleague that my boss is now looking for someone to type two termination letters. I wonder who else is getting fired. Poor Soul!! I have lost so much blood from this injury. I need to take good care of my diet now. Please could you ask the nurse to send in ten hamburgers and some strawberry milk shake on your way out."

Technology expert Tanuj Khosla gave his opinion on the situation.

"I am not one bit surprised by this action of Baljit," said Tanuj while dipping his banana in tomato soup. "The other day he affixed a stamp on a document to be faxed and was jumping with joy when the document came out of the other end of the fax machine with the stamp still on it. May God bless him."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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