Written by Wumf
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Saturday, 1 February 2014

image for San Joaquin Valley Bread Basket Status Reduced to Dried Crust
Avocado field in California

A renowned agricultural scientist from Davis University issued a sobering warning to the world today.
Crop scientist, Dr. Buford Bunnelkins, an expert on pretty much everything to do with growing stuff in California, says the "Bread Basket of the World" is threatened by record breaking drought conditions and will shortly be reduced to bread crumbs and croutons if immediate intervention is not forthcoming.

Dr. Bunnelkins has issued an invitation to Australian drought scientists. "We desperately need your help. If you experts Down Under can't save us, nobody can," Dr. Bunnelkins explained at a news conference in the middle of a dusty field. "With zero precipitation, huge wildfires, and massive dust storms, you Aussies are used to not growing crops."

Until help arrives, Bunnelkins is researching Navajo rain dances as a possible intervention and has a Skype conference call scheduled Tuesday with experts from area tribal casinos.

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