Calls to shut down the L.H.C. because the newly verified Higgs-Boson particle doesn't "do anything" have been gaining momentum. Additionally insurance companies have admitted that their collision waver supplement clause is so flawed in this instance that they may be facing P.P.I. claims similar to recent ones in the U.K. Especially in the event of multiple high value collisions involving expensive particles.
Thousands of scientists thought to have been perpetually keeping themselves on the gravy train by finding useless particle trails are thought to be horrified at the prospect of working for a living.
A janitor at the complex in Geneva said "I've told them for years, Jeeze they are looking up their own butts to find sunshine! How you gonna work out how a T.V. works by firing a B.B pellet at it? Its the same principle!"