Urgent appeals for a very big fly swatter have been made by the LHC team in Switzerland afer a particle from an accelerator collided with a stray fly.
The 10 metre wingspan fly soared out of the collision chamber and ate the operator's Coronation Chicken sandwich after it had apparently mutated due to dark matter quark bombardment. The operator said afterwards, "I had only just bought it too, its not fair. It could have eaten the other one which was tuna and I hate tuna.
I must have picked up by mistake. Here's a tip though, The Sparks and Mensa's no Mayo egg and cress sarnies are delicious".