Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Global Warming, UN

Friday, 27 September 2013

image for 95% of humans responsible for global warming according to UN report
The report's author delivering early copies

New York - UN Climate Change scientists have published the names of 95% of the world's worst polluters behind warming of the planet.

And top of the hot air list are Z-Lister celebs whose contribution to the carbon monoxide - er, peroxide? Dioxide! - debate swells each time they open their silly gobs.

"Mostly it's professional attention seekers," a UN spokesperson said, "like chat show hosts, politicians and environment sluts with personal methane production outputs of 666?g/m3." [WTF dat? - 'Ed']

Of course this isn't the first time the green chattering classes have been in the frame for toxic emissions and its impact on 'those darling polar bear habitats on fast-melting glaciers' to quote top global eco-bullshitter Prince Charles.

However the UN's 5% non-polluters list is groundbreaking stuff in identifying the estimated 1.4billion carbon-neutrals proven to have absolutely nothing to do with the planet's rancid atmosphere.

Just who these saintly eco-figures are remains a mystery, solvable only by ordering the UN's official published directory called The Green Five Per Cent.

The 3,000-page tome is printed on quality art paper made from 100% Ecuadorian Forest Oak, an endangered and non-recyclable species that grows only in the Yasuni National Park, and is priced ten grand a pop.

Order your copy HERE for same day service.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 1?

9 23 13 3
62 readers are online right now!

Go to top