Written by Tony Bagodonutz
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Friday, 27 September 2013

LOS ANGELES, CA - An ongoing UCLA study has recently unveiled results that may shock many.

"Jeans do not make a woman's ass look fat," reported Dr. Mack Daday, "a woman's ass makes a woman's ass look fat, plain and simple."

Some of the student's involved in the study have expressed that believe that the data in the study was slanted.

"He only let us try on a certain brand of jeans! They were pairs of Lee brand jeans that I think his wife probably wore like 30 years ago." stated Kerry Lush, a Freshman at UCLA.

"If we would have been able to try on multiple pairs, different styles, and different brands, I think the data would be very different, if you ask me."

When asked to defend whether or not the data was skewed, Dr. Daday stated, "If we were to use multiple jean brands, the data would end up being inconsistent. That's too many variables. The only variable should be the test subject's derriere. I still hold onto my findings."

Daday went on to say, "A fat ass is a fat ass, no matter how you look at it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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