No sooner was it announced that Brent, a 37-year-old Louisiana chimp, had won first prize in a chimpanzee art contest (read about it here on TheGuardian.com website) than the chimp called a lawyer to complain that the sanctuary where he lived would be getting the $10,000 in prize money. His share? Nada.
"That's just not right," Brent told TheSpoof.com's science & technology reporter Gail Farrelly (she's fluent in chimp talk). According to Brent, he needs money to finance his new career. "I'm the artist, I'm the creator," he complained. "Why should THEY get all the dough? I'm willing to split it with 'em, but that's it." He's hired a lawyer and is filing a lawsuit to demand 50% of the prize money. "I hope," Brent confided to Farrelly, "to be a millionaire by the time of forty, and I need some investment capital to do it."
In more news, Brent revealed that one of his 16th century ancestors is the true creator of the masterpiece the Mona Lisa. "It's a lot of hogwash that Leonardo da Vinci painted it," he told Farrelly. After stopping for a moment to take a few bites of his banana, he continued, "In reality, the artist was Leonardo da Chimp. I intend to prove it. And you can take that to the bank."
But actually, It's Brent who'll be taking it to the bank. Once he proves who really painted the Mona Lisa, he confided to Farrelly, there will be billions of dollars in reparations owed to his family by museums all over the world. And he plans to collect.
No monkeying around!