SOSO, Oklahoma-- Dr. Ima Voyeur, an astronomer peeping at the sun through a telescope, was blinded by the light, realizing that it's not polite to peer at heavenly bodies without their knowledge and consent.
The sun was in the midst of undressing, according to astronomer Kiki Krakotowa, and had his top off.
While, among men of the world, such nudity is not considered immodest (unless one is outside the shower or bathtub), the sun, apparently, felt the astronomer who was gazing at it through the telescope had no business ogling it from afar, and it spewed solar material and gas into space-in other words, it farted-and the resulting flare blinded the telescope's operator.
During the incident, a black, extremely odoriferous cloud of particles and other "solar debris" obscured the astronomer's field of vision. "The stench was such that I wish I'd been killed when it cut loose with that abominable gas!" Voyeur admitted.
A black hole in the sun, which is thought to be its anus, is facing the Earth. "We believe the sun is mooning us," Krakatowa explained. "If so, we have my esteemed colleague, Dr. Voyeur, to thank for that."
The peeping scientist says she has done "nothing wrong." Every astronomer peers through telescopes, she said.
As a result of Voyeur's "indiscretion," Krakatowa warns, "we can expect intense solar activity over the next few weeks. I would advise people to stay indoors whenever possible-and, by all means, they should buy a gas mask for every family member; they're going to need it!"