Written by IainB
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Monday, 17 June 2013

image for Floppy disk found in a chest on board the Titanic
The chest from the titanic in which the floppy disk was found.

Salvage hunters have made a controversial and contentious discovery of what appears to be a floppy disk, or 'diskette' inside a chest recovered from the Titanic wreck.

"This is going to either overturn decades of technological history," said salvage co-ordinator Sandy Ramsbottom. "Or be proof of time travel."

Although Ramsbottom has laid out two possible explanations, a third option has been put forward by renowned sceptic and fish and chip entrepreneur Harry Ramsden.

"This is obviously fraud on a massive scale," said Ramsden. "The floppy disk wasn't invented until the late seventies or early eighties. There's no way it was found in a chest on a ship that sank in the tenties."

With Ramsden claiming fraud, and Ramsbottom claiming treasure, a fourth explanation has surface with David Blaine claiming responsibility.

"I placed it in the box whilst the ship was under the sea," he said. "Using the power of my mind."

However, people are more likely to believe in time travel than Blaine being able to do anything remotely interesting, so his theory has been discounted.

Ramsden does have a point about fraud being a possibility, as Ramsbottom previously shot to fame when he found a stone-age skateboard and a time capsule from 1886 with an MPeg of Charlie Chaplain in full colour on it.

"Both these items have been verified as genuine," said Ramsbottom. "As will be the floppy disk. Carbon and fibre dating clearly showed the skateboard to be from the late Pliocene, and video experts have poured over the Chaplain footage, and declared it genuine."

Ramsden claims an unassailable fact.

"It was called the Stone Age, not the Carbon Fibre age," he said. "However Ramsbottom is doing it, he is doing it. And somebody should stop him. What next? An Elizabethan iPod?"

"Why does nobody believe me?" David Blaine wanted to know. "I'm a time traveller....it's how I do my (spooky music) magic."

Neither Ramsbottom or Ramsden want anything to do with Blaine.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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