Written by CaptainSausage
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Topics: Food, China, Panda, Barbeque

Sunday, 16 June 2013

image for Pandas vanish - Chinese don't know where
Stupid delicious pandas

There is a vast mystery taking place right now in South Western China.

The giant pandas have disappeared. The small breeding colony in Szechuan, which was being carefully observed by UN scientists, is no more. French biologist Pierre Blackpool noticed they were missing one morning after finishing his egg foo yuk.

Local villagers from the town of Eetbair are also clueless about what could have happened to the missing pandas. There, the animal is known as the Yum Yum and is believe to have special healing powers if eaten. Resterauteur Wa Yu Loo King Ah hadn't heard anything about the pandas. "No!" he said confidently. "We not know where delicious panda gone. We no eat them."

The pandas went missing last Thursday, the same day that Eetbair held their annual panda barbeque. During the barbeque, a pig is dressed up as a panda and roasted and eaten. Police are baffled that nobody at the panda barbeque saw any pandas. Constable Bri Bing said, "There were lots of people at the panda barbeque enjoying the tasty panda...I mean pig dressed as a panda. But there were no pandas there."

The giant panda is now to be placed on the list of extinct animals. Verdict: Missing, presumed dead.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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