Written by IainB
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Monday, 10 June 2013

image for Apple Spect-Apples Relaunched without ever being launched
Arrr, it's Apple's iPatch!

Apple's answer to Google Glasses, Spect-Apples, have undergone a massive re-branding U-Turn before they are even out of the product design stage.

"We spoke to our sample group," said head of product development, Anne Droyed. "They unanimously agreed that Spect-Apples was a spectacularly bad name."

Product research has shown that even with Apple branding, Spect-Apples would not sell, due to the stupid name. Apple's Marketing Department has gone into overdrive looking for the name that would rocket the wearable computer into the public psyche in the same way that the iPad, iPod and iPhone have.

"When people think of a music player," said Droyed, "they think of an iPod. iPhone is synonymous with smart phones.What we needed was a name for the product that would have the same resonance as these products. Head-mounted wearable computers need to be synonymous with Apple, not Google."

Apple are worried at how catchy Google Glasses sound.

"It's the alliteration," said Droyed. "So we thought we would try the same. Apple Attention, perhaps. But this was awful, and Accessor-eyes had been taken by a make-up company."

The multi-million dollar marketing research campaign eventually settled on the name that would turn the product from a glint in the eye of Apple's designers to the product that everybody wanted.

"We're going to call it the iPatch," said Droyed, proudly. "And we're going to launch it on International Pirate Day."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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