Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 28 May 2013

image for Intelligent Design stop using the eye as an example after Michael Beye discovers he needs glasses
Beye now needs glasses, and has decided the eye isn't all it's cracked up to be.

For many years Intelligent Design have been using the human eye as an example as to why there must be a Designer responsible for all life. This has no been dropped after Michael Beye, author of numerous ID books and articles, discovered he needed glasses.

"The eye is a pretty shoddy design," said Beye, in a press conference. "Not only does it get deformed too easily allowing short-sightedness and long-sightedness to develop, the lens can get cataracts, pressure can build up to cause glaucoma and the retina is behind the nerves that send the signals of what light hits the retina to the brain, giving people a blind spot."

None of these flaws would be built into a designed eye, as evidenced by the eyes designed for robots.

The hunt is now on for a new model to hold up as evidence for an Intelligent Designer.

"We thought about teeth, in all of their perfectly designed glory," said Beye. "But then we realised that enamel is rubbish. Who'd design a material that can be worn away by that which it's meant to chew? Or provide too many teeth to fit into the jaw? If you were going to design teeth, you'd coat them in something harder, and they'd grow back as and when they were needed."

Body part by body part, the Intelligent Design movement have been through the human body. Not even the brain, the most powerful computer known to man, is perfectly designed, with it's hundreds of flaws, is suitable.

"We've come to the conclusion," said Beye, "that if the human body is a product of a designer, which it must be, it must have been an apprentice doing his first solo job. There's too many problems with it. Even toe-nails are rubbish. Why do we even have them? And what are male nipples for? Good grief!"

Instead, the Intelligent Design community have focused on the butterfly, and hope that they can use this as proof of an intelligent designer instead.

"Butterflies are perfectly adapted," said Beye. "I mean designed. They are our new figurehead!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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