Written by IainB
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Friday, 17 May 2013

image for Bubble wrap - top of the pops!
Bubbles in Lemonade only placed fifteenth

After much deliberation, sharp points and millions of things that go 'pop', Bubble Wrap has once again been voted Top of the Pops.

"It's fantastic news," said Brian Gigglesworth, head of the Bubble Wrap Federation of Cumbria and the UK. "This makes three year's running that our packaging material has topped this chart."

According to Bubbling Under the magazine for bubbles, balls and all things that can be popped, Bubble Wrap faced stiff competition this year.

"There's a whole new list of things you can pop that have come along in the last twelve months," said editor, Sue Pandbread. "Obviously there are the traditional favourites like balloons and soap bubbles, but they've never really challenged Bubble Wrap for sheer pop-ability. This year though we've seen the invention of Quantum Foam, which apparently creates a whole new universe when it pops. Pretty remarkable, and it probably would have won if Brian Cox had slowed down in his explanation."

Also placed into the top three after it's d├ębut was Economic Bubbles.

"We were really excited by the Economic Bubble," said Ms Pandbread. "This is similar to the Dot Com Bubble of the nineties, but is for the entire world, instead of Sacremento. Apparently, many very nice countries that I've been on holiday to, like Spain and Greece, have seen their economic bubbles go pop. We'd have placed it number one in the Top of the Pop's chart, if it wasn't for the amount of misery the popping caused. Where as, as usual, Bubble Wrap does the opposite, and spreads calm and contentedness as it's popped."

Herbert Gowinkle, Britain's largest manufacture of beach balls is said to be livid this his product has been pushed out of the top ten by these two new entrants.

"It won't last," he said. "Sooner or later their bubble will burst. But knowing that lot at Bubbling Under, that'll put them back in the list."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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