Written by plinth course
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Topics: Space

Tuesday, 19 September 2006

image for Doobage in Space
What more proof do you need?

Way High - TheSpoof! readers may be celebrating my scoop on the recent "pot-like odor" incident on board the ISS (See: ISS Buzz Ruined) in which my scoop scooped everybody (nyah nyah) on the scoop of the century. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I scooped E.V.E.R.Y.B.O.D.Y. One more time: SCOOP!

But, I took quite a drubbing for that in the blogosphere. MyMind, once a staunch ally cheering me on in my "speculation in the modern world," has become severely critical, calling me "way off the mark" and "non-factual" and "unreasonable" for my truly logical, well-researched conclusions. Ouch, that's cold! MyMind is OFF my go-to list FOREVER!

So you be the judge. You're a thinking person, an informed citizen. Here's what I published, based on the facts at hand:

The crew planned to toke as a group. No one would be allowed NOT to partake to avoid anyone "narking." They chose a secluded area of the station, the equivalent of "back behind the barn," and closed the door tightly, placing a wet towel across the threshold. A zip lock bag was passed around after each toker inhaled to collect any residual exhalant - CAREFUL, dude, don't waste it! Light the incense. OMIGOD!

That's right. It was the incense, the pothead's friend, which triggered the sensors. No one in the crew narked, loyalty RULED!

Johns [NASA spokesperson] vigorously denied this possibility: "You're really in LaLa Land now. You think professional space personnel would actually burn something even MORE detectable than smoke? Last time I burned incense the place had to be practically evacuated, and …"

Big scoop, right? Betcher ass.

Now the next chapter. There's something floating around in space, FOLLOWING the ISS. Um … could that be the bong? Wouldn't the crew, caught in the act, have to get rid of the doobage kit? Couldn't they, under cover of "engine testing" or some such, blow it out, hoping no one would notice? HeLLO!

Here on Earth we could put flowers in it and claim it's a vase, but in space, whatcha gonna do (OBIE)? Man, am I the only one thinking this through?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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