Written by IainB
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Thursday, 11 April 2013

image for Satan wins the war of Facebook
Satan's profile picture - God doesn't have one.

Satan has chalked one up in his eternal battle with God when it was revealed that his Facebook page has more subscribers than God's.

"I quietly pleased," Satan admitted. "When I last looked I had twice the number of followers on Facebook, than God does. How marvellous is that?"

Satan has put his greater popularity down to his greater involvement with his followers.

"I'll post regular updates," he said. "What's going on, famous names coming down, and loads of great pictures. I have an entire gallery of scantily clad women for a start."

God's Facebook page, although with millions of Likes, contains hardly any status updates, and the only picture is that of a cloud. Surprisingly, the official Vatican page is not one of God's followers, and neither is the new Pope.

"It's typical of him," said Satan. "He'll set something up, get really involved with it for a little while, then bugger off for a couple of thousand years, pop back, do a bit more then bugger off again."

Satan does know how God could improve his following.

"Oh, it'd be a doddle," Satan admitted. "If he popped back and changed his relationship status to 'In a Relationship', he'd get millions more subscribers all desperate to know who the girl is this time. However, it's been set to 'It's Complicated' since he set the thing up."

God was unavailable for comment, and has not answered any Facebook messages since March 2004.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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