LOS ANGELES, CA--The day after Zach Rowland's 29th birthday proved a source of anxiety rather than joy, as the video editor reportedly spent his day fuming at his 241 Facebook friends that didn't extend him birthday wishes on his timeline.
"What, I haven't spoken to Dave [Carol] in two years, now suddenly he can't waste the time for a happy birthday?" Rowland was overheard muttering to himself while staring at his phone. "We used to be boys. And I definitely spoke to Joe [Pyrzynski] like a month ago. What a dick. As for Sarah [McKellen]--well, the way things ended between us, I'm surprised we're still [Facebook] friends. But I see [Ian] Meller wished Ted [Counter] a happy birthday today, but nothing for me. Well, fuck him."
At press, Rowland was silently excusing Peter Alexander for his Facebook silence on the grounds that Alexander had sent him a congratulatory text message earlier that day.