Written by Gary Potter
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Thursday, 21 March 2013

image for 'Big Bang' ages 80 million years in single day
Richard Dawkins

Fans of utter bollocks are today enraptured by the news that people posing as scientists are claiming that the universe is 80 million years older today than stated yesterday.

According to George Esfthathiou, "There's less stuff that we don't understand by a tiny amount." (NB this is a genuine quote by a genuine 'scientist'. If anyone understands what he means, please contact the writer).

Of course the extra 80 million years will have to be filled up with various evolutionary fairytales, such as fish deciding to walk on land and lizards choosing to fly.

We contacted atheist fundamentalist and evolution crackpot Richard Dawkins, but he was unavailable for comment, having been at the inaugeration of Pope Francis.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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