Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 3 March 2013

image for Mother's Day comet returns after 110,000 years
Look out for Comet 2011 L4 Panstarrs above the sunset horizon

Europe - Revered by the ancients as an omen of catastrophe Comet 2011 L4 Panstarrs will be nearing perihelion over British skies on Mothering Sunday next week.

Its flight path is being videoed from the International Space Station which monitors and destroys dangerous Earth-bound projectiles - apart from February's meteor which nearly obliterated a large chunk of South East Russia.

This morning the comet's trajectory was plotted to take in a rare astrological conjunction of six planets in Pisces - the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars and Neptune - in what skywatchers reckon is a portent about the start of the EU's own 'Arab Spring'.

The latest Ooort Cloud nomad follows hot on the trail of Comet Lovejoy which strafed Western skies during the 2011 Winter Solstice.

Apocalypse peddlers had warned that Lovejoy was a chip off an old massive comet that supernovaed around the time of Jesus' birth.

Its return ahead of a long expected a rendezvous with the 2012 Mayan Calendar's Armageddon Shuttle prompted a huge build-up of bunkum about momentous, upcoming Earth events...and Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee.

Catch live footage of Panstarrs' Mother's Day lap of honor on the NASA website or, for betting on possible shattering world-class disasters, on the Aintgottaprayer.con website.

Buzz Aldrin is 104.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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