Written by Joe Leff
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Topics: Music, Ears, Hearing, red wine

Friday, 22 February 2013

Rubbing red wine on both ears may enrich your hearing and enjoyment of music.

When people listened to some of their favourite sound-tracks after splashing red wine on their ears, they sounded much better.

Scientists at the Shiraz Hearing Research Institute reckon that it is caused by the chemical action of dulcetone - found only in red grapes.
"Moreover, if you also cup your wine glass over your ear," said Dr Meinza Merlot, "you'll also experience lovely echoing sounds, as well as amazing looks from people around you."

Apparently, this hearing boost was discovered accidentally at a rowdy party in the Institute, when people started splashing each other with red wine, and over 90 per cent of the party-goers praised the quality of the background sound-tracks.

The effect has only been observed with red wine. Splashing yourselves with white wine makes less mess - but does not improve your hearing. And pouring beer into your ear only makes you look stupid.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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