We are not alone. NASA's Mars rover vehicle has found irrefutable proof that intelligent life exists on the Red Planet.
The agency is preparing to announce the historic discovery. Details will be released in a few days, but we have obtained an advance copy of the agency's press release.
Apparently, the rover vehicle was parked in a "busy" zone; an area of the planet strewn with rocks and craters. NASA left the rover there for a few days to carry out routine maintenance. Just before the remotely-controlled vehicle was due to be moved, a NASA engineer noticed a parking ticket on its windscreen.
According to the press release: "This is the most convincing evidence to date that Martians exist."