Written by Joe Leff
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Monday, 28 January 2013

image for Poor memory linked to sheep problems
"I've forgotten what I came for"

Researchers have found that memory problems - especially in older people - could be due to lack of sheep, causing lack of sleep.

Many people used to rely on counting sheep to get a good night's sleep. But these days, due to lack of sheep, people have been trying to count ceiling tiles, which are also in short supply.

Even in rural regions, where sheep are sometimes seen, sheep disturbances at night have disturbed the sleep patterns in nearby villages.

But local farmer Noah Lottastuph reckons that the link between poor memory and sheep problems is not new. "Most of my sheep hardly sleep at all," he said. "And they can never remember their own names or what day of the week it is."

Brain scientists believe that it is lack of slow-wave sheep that is predictive of memory loss in older people. "Slow-wave sheep," said Dr Ivor Brainwave, "are sheep that look at you nicely when you wave at them slowly. These are the best ones to count before going to sleep. But there's hardly any left these days."

Doctors are aiming to set up memory training clinics for older patients who have difficulty trying to remember what sheep look like.

Dr Brainwave's advice is: "If you find a good sheep, remember to sleep on it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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