Although it's been nearly seven years since the status of Pluto was changed from a planet to an icy dwarf, hard feelings remain.
"Hey, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune are just big gasballs--at least I'm 70-percent rock," complained Pluto.
Since its discovery in 1930, Pluto was considered the solar system's ninth planet, but astronomers eventually determined it did not fit the definition of a true planet and demoted it in 2006.
"Flippin' astronomers," ranted a bitter Pluto. "They're four billion miles away. What do they know? But I blame Saturn the most. It gets all the attention. It's always, 'Oooooh, look at my rings. I'm sooo special.' And by the way, if any planet should have been downgraded, it should have been Uranus. What the hell kind of name is that?"