Written by Jean Le Fete
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Wednesday, 6 March 2013

image for NASA Mars Team Chosen To Include Dr Phil, Lindsay Lohan, Simon, Lady GaGa and Steve Tyler
Mission to Mars!

NASA has chosen the first astronaut team that will train and travel in a manned mission to Mars in 2020. They were chosen in a democratic nominating process that has many current and former NASA astronauts up in arms. The team is made up 6 people, including Dr. Phil, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Steve Tyler (Aerosmith), John Boehner,and last and perhaps least, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame guru Jann Wenner.

"We had some very different criteria for this first team," said a NASA spokesperson on condition of anonymity (something which the Spoof never grants). Said Marvin Hamlich, "Because of the uncertainties of this mission we wanted to see if we could also do a service to mankind. We thought long and hard, "who" could we send on this mission that the world would be better off without? Of course we also wanted to make it an interesting reality show. The advertisers and viewers will actually be helping to fund this mission to Mars....of course there is always the chance funding could fall short and we won't be able to afford to bring 'em back"

Different team members were reached for comment, Dr. Phil has accepted and is devoting several shows to the topic, including one specifically on his fantasies about Lady Gaga. "It really boils down to being in a tiny living space with somebody I was born to be with," said Dr. Phil with a straight face. Dr Phil will also be streaming shows from the vessel as it zooms through space on the way to Mars.

"We have several topics chosen already for these shows", said Dr. Phil, "I'm planning to grill Jann Wenner about not including The Monkees in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, at least 3 shows will be devoted to that little bastard."

Steven Tyler was nominated by his band mates in Aerosmith, "They're still pissed at me for doing American Idol," he said, "But were going to try an record something when I get to Mars...so they say."

John Boehner could not be reached for comment as members of the Tea Party have placed him in hiding until the mission launches.

Nobody had anything to say about Lindsay Lohan.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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