Written by CaptainSausage

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Thursday, 10 January 2013

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Technology: where would we be without it? In the same place but more bored probably.

The world of technology has quite literally been set ablaze with the latest exhibits on display at the 2013 Crap Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas. The event is intended to showcase the best new products which will be available to the public throughout the coming year. This year has proven to be a particularly innovative one for gadgets and gizmos.

One of the biggest announcements made at the show was for Honda's new Satnav Cummerbund. This garment is practically impossible to lose, because it is fitted with a satellite tracking device, and a voice which loudly indicates its location at all times. Surely a must have for the well-dressed but forgetful man about town.

Korean behemoth Samsung have unveiled their latest innovation in the world of home entertainment - the edible TV. No longer will lonely but wealthy bachelors have to worry about where their next meal is coming from as they sit alone in front of Top Gear. Now they can simply eat their TV, while watching it.

Entering a completely new market is Apple with their latest offering, the musical trouser press. It is aimed at wealthy businessmen with short attention spans who find it too boring to sit and press their trousers in silence. The iRon is sure to be a success in hotels everywhere.

Perhaps the most unusual product being shown at the event comes from another electronics giant, Toshiba. Their revolutionary new glasses take 3D images of the world and project it into the users' eyes - in 3D! Perfect for anyone who enjoys watching things in 3D and has a bit too much money to spare.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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