Written by David Grant
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Tuesday, 20 November 2012

image for Taste as Well as Morality Found in Babies
One Pint-Sized Victim

Child Psychologists are astounded at new discoveries involving the minds of babies. Apart from a baby's ability to prefer a nice puppet over a nasty one, there is also strong evidence to show that he or she can discern cringe-worthiness, stupidity, lameness, overkill, manipulation and other traits of popular TV shows.

One experiment involved subjecting a random group of babies to four hours of X Factor USA. When they were given the opportunity to hold a Simon Cowell doll, every baby slammed the doll's head into the table as hard as it possibly could.

Psychologists believe that this inborn protection is weaned out of children by constant exposure to mindless TV. One Professor of Child development commented, "It is much like the way we build up immunity to a disease by exposure to it over many years."

Child protection agencies are concerned over these findings. A spokesperson commented "When we viewed the experiments, we could see that the babies were in terrible distress. Many were turning their heads away and squirming in their seats."

New TV guidelines have been suggested to minimize dangerous exposure to these types of programs for babies and normal people.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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