Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: disease, Bird Flu

Sunday, 9 July 2006

image for Bird Flu Wipes out Baytown West Virginia

Most people have never even HEARD of Baytown West Virginia. Well, there you go. Bird Flu .. such an insidiously vapidly "666" disease that it can not only wipe entire cities off the face of the planet but also erase them from the collective memories of us all .. erase memories right off the actual DATABASES of Webpedia, Ask_Jeeves and Google itself! Google that town, see what Google tells you besides

"Oops. Did you mean Baytown TEXAS instead or what? Talk to Google."

Even Google no longer knows that Baytown West Virginia once existed. Quite a feat those birds with the flu pulled off .. a feat right out of the annals of the Twilight zone 's episode 127 where that shoe shine boy woke up one morning surrounded by takling purple dinosaurs. On Mars. In his jammies.

"I simply don't REMEMBER a city named Baytown" West Virginia's governor said. Proof positive that bird flu is right up there with Kryptonite poisoning. How does the governor of a state forget it's 2nd largest city?

HINT : Bird flu.

BIRDS -> :)

Baytown West Virginia, once a thriving metroplex, population 800,382, grilled cheese capital of the world was the first American city to be reached by "the birds".

Washington itself denies the former existence of the "fictitious" city but Washington also denies the existence of flying saucers too even though President Bush has one in the basement of the White House that he's yet to figure out how to crank up.

"Strange stuff happens in this universe" noted physicist Stephen Hawkings said regarding the the birds, the flu and the legend of Baytown West Virginia, Hawkins commenting,

"I'm sure .. something's going on here. I sure never heard of that town but (CRACKLE) (CRACKLE) is this thing ON? Duracells somebody ANYbody?"

Memorial funeral services for all 800,382 former residents of the fictitious city of Baytown West Virginia will be held this Friday "just in case" according to Pat Robertson, just in case the city really DID, like Atlantis once exist and all it's residents did indeed get wiped out by the birds .... with the flu.

CNN's doctor Sanja Gupta advises all legal Americans to stay INDOORS for the next 17 years, with face masks on and plenty of DVD's, KFC wings and cold refreshing cases of Bud LITE of course until this pesky bird thing has moved on-wards.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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